The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the
month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and
he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a
handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate. !

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those
who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a
warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate
sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My significant other,
not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring
the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate